Breaking News Flash: Is God God?  

How a Heart-gal mcmlove from ASSEN demanding LOVE travelled the globe to the promised land ZION to meet with her Dream-guy SolAris. To find out the A to Z-trip Tour d'Amour (TA) turned into a flashing flight + nightmarish Tour of Terror (TT) with no other The End then the totall destruction of All+Everything, Always+Everywhere. Booommm

In a RUSH RUSH RUSH RACE (RRRR) against the clock because they will drop the BIG ONE now. It will be 'JUST ANOTHER BLOW JOB'  that's gone hit RedHot ISRAEL (=IsGodGod?) and the rest of ignorant poor unwanting to know (=NO!) inhabitants of Mother EARTH, very soon.

Where do you place your morals on living? Are you willing to live in a world that is piled up with weaponry and on which the biggest part of worldwide economy is based? Then you should realize that you don't have anything to decide because in a samenleving (Dutch for community and actually meaning Together-Living) like this, it is the Norm, it's just the way it is, inevitable, it's even a NATURAL state of being in a community like that.

And the worst of it is:

ALL have laid them themselves down at it.
They just Lay Down (=Fly with Down syndrom) + CRY (=KRAAI=CROW=Messenger of Death).

Nobody gives a Damn. It's a Far-from-my-Bed show, even in Israel. The acceptance of war+death has become a Natural State of Being in this HATEHOLE. The chosen people - cut off of their ForeS kinns - were cut off of their forefathers and kept from WHO their MOTHER was. And that in a land where you can't get anything fixed without the name of your mother + where you are GOY (= ha ha Go Y=Go to the female principle) and NOT Jewish if your mom isn't.

THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN

or

Does have ManKind+Earth still have a chance? Is there still a choice? Perhaps Love... YES, it is just a Matter of Perception + Conception in Knowing what Making Love really is. For that ManKind needs Knowledge on HisStory + working thrue all its outworn immoral manipulated humanitarian Emotions to reach Ascension (=AssenZion) to be shine upon by the magistral magical lifegiving SUN to create IN LOVE.

The Paradigm is upon Mankind+Earth to unveil that what has been a COVER UP for 6000 years. To keep ManKind under the genetically manipulated awful disgusting artificial spell of:

THE FLUTE+THE DUCATE
SEX+MONEY

but

A REVOLUTION has to take place.
Viva la REVOLUCION! Viva la LIBERTAD!
Throw off the Mantle of Love to finally free ourselves of all the human made up rules, laws, codes and FALL IN LOVE as 1 KIND (=CHILD).

A story about the shittiest HellHole on earth called ISRAEL, the filthiest broken downright rotten Home of the socalled Chosen People; a PICK salami+an Onion; a 'broken knife'+'circumcision' (=Sir come see Zion); a wish for a BABY girl GiGi Miracle+galactic Selfhealing; a Loteryticket with JackPot written allover it+Family; shrieking crows+a singing bird, crossing thousands of miles between the millions of stars in the MilkyWay goin' thrue the milky white fog for the Battle of M@ARMAGGEDDON.

My name is Marjan Clarie Meijer (666). EYE will turn around HIS STORY and make everybody see (C in quadrates = C2) and clear up for once + for all the other side of the medal (999) and how mankind is responsable for all our own ACTS ('natural acting') to wake up from this NIGHT-MARE (the Story of the Night to SEE) called 'Hu-Man life on Earth' (=WHO?Man, gm-created being) and bring this BREAKING NEWS FLASH into the almighty magnificient RUTHLESS all+everything reveiling RADIATING LIGHT and ENERGY (=Emotion) of the internet.

I became a MEGA ZIENER (=MI GO SEE-ER); just by watching everything+everybody lovingly as a CHILD (=KIND) with wondering wide (www) open EYES. This FONTAIN (=meaning of my name in Arabic) is gone flow in a mercyful loving ACCUSATION 4+2 ALL+Everything, Always+Everywhere forever Clearing UP all the mess.

It is a Matter of Conception, a matter of looking at things to Understand LOVE = simply Understanding what it is all about... and then i saw:

ALL + EVERYTHING = CONNECTED -
ALWAYS + EVERYWHERE

REMEMBER=REM-EMBER=NIGHTMARE-HUMAN
 
,,We are GM-beings created by the socalled gods to serve them as SLAVES. One group of them was paid for it with a 'gratuity' (= a tip) to be the chosen 'TOP HU-MEN', gotten an EXTRAATJE 4goodSEX+earn loads of GoldenMoney with the God-Story in the HolyLand Israel (IsGodGod?). This is HIS STORY.''

An EYE REPORT by a Profession-I-Reporter

HEARTSHOTELHUNGARY - And i tell you honestly, i was charmed by this guy called Sol Aris. Communicated with him thrue the www for 7 years. There was this unmistakable connection. He interpreted dreams. I had these amazing dreams, all my life, and he hit the nail on the head explaining, bringing me back to that Mission in Life: start a quest for what Love really is and how to Live Love by examining my whole life (=HOLE LIE about F...). Dig in all the 'hellholes' of your entire life and use all the inner Self Knowledge to work thrue the trauma (TV=TraumaVerwerking, working thrue all trauma) 2 Forgive (= 4 Give) and Live Love a natural way ever after in Paradise. Become my own FATE + creating my own Reality.

Of course i am a woman, and it's the woman in me that made me play this GAME. I am a simple country girl - walking around on her wooden shoes taking care - and just have a wish for love, care and miracles.
I am also a MEIJER from Assen, Drenthe (from the Northern Wavelength, with Mary a Campis+child in the coat of Arms => Mary+Child but in a camp) in the Netherlands (=Kneel-down-humble-land). The Meijers are known worldwide in certain circles for Plumbing, Communications, Transportation and their connection to Lightning and TA, static electricity (aka The Touch of God), but formost for their determination for LOVE for everything that =REAL. (No country on earth where relatively + percentagewise so many Jews have been betrayed, loaded up+eliminated in the 2WW. Feelings of guilt gave the Dutch - TrusttheDutch but keep your kids inside+lock all doors+windows hermetically - something to make up 4 4 sure).

So when i met this erudite, funny, intuitive and very intelligent man on the internet from Israel of the Dreams-and-Visions yahoogroup, named Sol Aris, i got charged with a will to get it All above the TABLE. There was personal attraction too. Something that happens online a lot. People can even fall in love online and marry, or - and in most cases that's the sad case - they do lots of fuggin' around the globe and then the dark side of man - aka the devil - triompfs in porn, sex and moneystuff. I had gotten that other side of the medal too but with Sol it was pure spiritual connectedness.

Everything you 'throw' into the ETHER (ET HER= alienate her) is amplified. We're all looking for Love: All we need is Love (though: Lofe=Loaf> Y can't live by bread alone) and instead they become SLAVE for LOVE in the form of Porn, Pedophily, Masturbation, Voyeurism + Exhibitionism and pay good old MONEY for it. That experience i went thrue as well being a Man needs a Maid-girl in Alberta, Canada. It has been a good training and excersize for what was still to come. Y don't even know who y're talking to, anonimity is fashion for most with nicknames.

Sure is: this computerstuff (HARDWARE dopey opposite HEARTWEAR addict) is intensifying what's on your mind. But this guy was different. He knew something. And i knew something too. Perhaps we could throw in our 2bits + bring it all into the LIGHT.
The whole net talks about love+going into paradise, waiting for the saviour to come on a cloud+take us all into Ascension or they believe Aliens will arrive+get us in huge Ufo's to finally help us HOME.
But why was it such a mess then, just war+blood+destruction everywhere, never Good News on TV, radio or in the newspapers. We were determined to dig all+everything up above the surface. Something was missing... 

We used this magical tool called the Internet and i had my laptop (=LAP=OL=OIL=KEBEL=KEPPEL
=MEH=BEE=RETESZ=BOLT=NYELV=TONGUE=LANGUAGE t.o.p.=> turn over P=>PI or a T on its back. Ami a sziven az a nyelven= What he/she has on his/her heart, he/she has on his/her tongue) to speak from the Heart.

That's what we do at FACEBOOK (=the Book of ABRAM=The Book of MYFACE) and i show myself + the TalkingHearts as an everyday girl, everyone can recognize themselves in and that was called Uija (=onion) when small. A happy naief child under THE SUN drawing a picture of a heart for her daddy. Like i had been doing since 1993, drawing hearts in stead of writing about all+everything being a journalist for more then 20 years. Inspired by my father's open heart-operation and wanting to give him something (he couldn't eat/drink) and Jewish diamondcutter-son painter + heartsfriend Gerrit - the Dancer +/or Ethersniffer - Lakmaaker, who actually forced me to take the pencil in my hand and draw+colour hearts. Leaving rotten-to-the-bone Holland (=Hollow-Land) for good behind in 1998 to get stuck in a bird reservation at a lake in Magyarorszag (Land of the EARLY SEED people).

Sol Aris had been busy for years - after his professional carreer as a lawyer, computerspecialist and before that as rocker - at a site TroubledTimes about the nearing arrival of PlanetX aka Nibiru in 2003 untill he found out that the leading lady of that pack Nancy Lieder was a scam, a Zeta Ridiculis ET channeling lying bitch that he angrily exposed + figurative 'shot down from the skies for everyone to see'. To start his own group, Zeta Astra, for research of the big questions in life and building up Libraries at this huge paranormal+esoteric website Book-of-Thoth.com for people to expand their knowledge and open their minds to new possibilities + to share thoughts and views. Even more information was gathered - WikiPedia + the google search-engines being fav's - and rubricated in another monumental site called Halexandria.org run by a Daniel Sewell aka DocP'tah Ward (=Docter+Ward to See-Well).
Loaded with a synthesis of new physics, sacred geometry, ancient+modern history, multiple universes+realities, consciousness, ETs, corporate rule+politics, law, order+entropy, trial by jury, astronomy, monetary policy, scientific anomalies, religion+spirituality, and a whole lot more as astrology, astrophysics to superstring, sonoluminescence to biblical+geological history, numerology, tarot + creating your own reality. Connecting the Pisces era with the awaited Aquarius Age, getting 3 million hits a month. Trying to put all the pieces (knowledge) together in this Tree of Life Y= symbol.
Y = the Androgyn (man=ma-ma)
Y = the Power of Thought (manas)
Y = Androgyn man being the connection between Heaven/Earth
Y = Earth Memory+Cosmic Wisdom

But Y was better known as the Tree of Knowledge of Good+Evil of the socalled Holy books. It would take a Fool's Journey to puzzle it all out. Thousands have been concerned, studying the matter and are talking about it.
As Sol and i were, but there was always this missing link.

Everyone just knows a part, one layer (=LIER) of the whole (=HOLE). I got also kind of desperate: Does LOVE exist? Or am i just a FOOL on a hill dwelling in her Talking Hearts, like everyone told me time and time over.
I had nothing to loose, not even myself (=MAAI=MEI=MAY-S-ELF=PRINCIPLE) except my principle (but who the hell cares about principles these days any more?). I asked to be UNselfish, UNconditional (UN=United Nations) + ME follow Intuition (= Into E.Zion) only.

When Sol suddenly completely disappeared from the internet and FaceBook i first didn't notice, i am a bit slow. But it was obvious, he who was online most days for sometimes 20 hours on end, had gone up in thin air.
He changed his profiletext in: Seeing Traces of Faces, in New York City and his intro for information said: 'When you come aboard you'll wear the pink scarf the right way.' Portraying as a Captain, but looking like a Pirate.

I went googling and arrived at these sites so tearjerking sad, so heartbreaking terrible and i understood he had gone Undercover. Again one of the by that time uncountable synchronicities. A few days earlier i had posted fashion of Japanese 'enfent terribe' designer Jun Takahashi who makes alienating funny clothes under the name Undercover. I had gotten a piece of this 'master' called Languid (=tongue), with on the label a screaming face with a long tongue sticking out.

These last weeks had been hectic and Sol as well as i had gotten more and more insights of what was+is going on around the globe. He had written for all on FB to see: ,,Discovered the Arc of the Convenant (=Face of the ConSellers) in the Scottish House in Old Yaffo, with written admission to publish about it. Waiting for a ten million dollarcheck to pay everyone that helped me find it.''
 
I got connected to crystalskulls In-Lak'esh and Mahasamatman to learn 'I am another Y' and that i am a galactic being that can heal myself and make 'gentle' connections between all beings in the cosmos + became convinced i would make that lil baby girl GiGi with him; and i had discovered my Meijer family roots, our connection with Lightning and TA (static electricity) + found out what the biggest sin in the universe is: a brother doublecrossing his brother for the sake of his own pleasure in money+sex-cases. And I was getting flies in everything offered me to drink. Something had to be done. And because i was convinced that 1 of the Dutch Staatsloterijtickets i had was the winning one (12,5 million euro) i made my decisions easier + for the time being i would use my creditcard and the money left i inherited of my parents.
 
What we had discovered individually till now could - put together the right way - change the course of history, for sure. And there were 'blackmen' around in black cars + helicopters + planes, that didn't want this kind of news to go around. So good he ducked+covered. There were many riddles to solve in the meantime. I loved the playing with words + the surfing the web with Wiki and google. And he was safe, sure thing quiet online.
Till i accidently pressed that button of my online FB friends to read this strange message at Christian Rozencrux's profile: ispiperscallinU2joinhimdearladyhearthighwindblowdiduknowstairwayliesonthywhisperinwind (on monday)
= Is piper scallin you too join him dear lady heart high wind blow did you know stairway lies on thy whisper in wind (on monday), that was clear: I had to meet him on monday. His last posted pictures with significantly twice the St.Anthony, clock at 3 pm, said the rest.
The electricity+plumbing was exploding at HeartsHotel and i got charged with this immense static electricity. No time to loose, change the travelling date of the ticket and the Lady of the Talking Hearts would therefore go and leave head-over-heels to meet the Dream-Man.

Enough = Enough

The experiences: being doublecrossed; stolen empty;  raped; being lied to about All+Everything all my life and Living LoveLess.
The names: Maria, Sophia, Harry, Illes, Abraham, Gerard, William=Billy, Christian/Christine, Danny, Barry, Karoly=King=Leo, Gabriel/Gabriella and Captain to name just a few.
The words: HUman=WHO?man; seed=SEE IT; together=To Get HER; TA=static electricity; remember=REM-EMBER=Nightmare-Man.
The symbols: Y, the lil 5pointed doll; the DoubleCross; a Crown; a Star; the Golden Mean; the Golden Fleece; the WildMan and the diamond.
The numbers: 3 6 9 10 11 13 18 20 22 and 60.
The colours: ORANGE Red White Blue Green
 
And the music started to talk to me, in every song i heard the desperate cries for LOVE and a GoldenHeart, that never was gone be found. Unless a Miracle (=Mirakel=Me wakes up the SUN) would happen.

And every single one person i met on my liferoad had exactly the same devastating experience of being LIED to, being RAPED or else sexually abused, being double crossed; stolen from honestly earned money during heart-work, dragged into fantastical mythical worlds of especially religion, fairy tales and the PowersThatBe and NOBODY EVER SPOKE OUT.

EVERYTHING was kept HIDDEN (=Hit-them) by EVERYBODY, ALL we already KNEW was being swept under carpets (=KAR=DAMAGE+PETS=Damaged Pets) ALWAYS (=ladiesmoondaysnapkins) and kept desperately Undercover. Or they found themselves a way to stay out of reality thrue especially alcohol and/or drugs.

Some are ASHAMED (ass-hammered) and everybody is AFRAID (=carries a freight) about something WE all deep inside KNOW + prefer to stay 'ignorant till the lil hole' to.

EYE show Y ALL the WHOLE and gentle TRUTH(=femaleHOLE=VAGINA):

We are Genetical Manipulated beings created by the socalled gods to serve them as SLAVES.

And there exist in our troubledtimes beings that have always known + used this pretty vital information to enrich themselves + fuck around a bit or 2 ha ha ha.

Zacharia Sitchin wrote in 1976 a book about it, or he did nothing else then simply translate the surviving thousands of years old clay-tablets written in the oldest language Sumerian, The 12th Planet and their inhabitants the Annunaki. The book tells about the Astronauts from planet Nibiru - under the lead of 2brothers - to mine for GOLD on earth. Enki had the lead on earth, but 'his people' were too damn LAZY (=LUSTA=StaticLIGHT=FLASH) to work, so they created the HU-MAN.

REMEMBER=REM-EMBER:
NIGHTMARE-MAN, the WHO?-Man.

They used the nice ur(primitive)-ladies that walked the earth and were handy at hand at the time. They brought the Nibiran and Apewoman genes together. Just speeding up apewomen's destiny. It took lots of experimenting but they finally succeeded in creating (after adding copper and clay) a socalled Adamu, a lil healthy boy with a smooth dark bloodredcoloured skin and black hair. The only difference was the boy's malehood, he had a foreskin while Nibirans have not. After some more experimenting they were able to create a female called Ti-Amat as well by adding blood from the male part of Adamu into the admixture. And these newly created hu-men were able to multiply so no need any more for Nibiran wombs.

Right from the beginning they covered it up. There were only a few inhabitants anywayz + even some of the direct descendants were kept in the unknown. It was documented though, in great Libraries, but most of them got accidently destroyed. Just some parts, some flashes were left over about true origin of man. And Zacharia Sitchin dug them up in his Earth Chronicles.

Life is like watching a movie you didn't see the beginning of that's coming to The END... And that is just as much as we mankind know about our original beginning (history). We don't know anything about the beginning, didn't see it. Now suddenly we jumped into it, like zapped into the movie of life (the Concert of Life has no Program attached to it, tile-text). You see some vague figures movin' and fuggin' around+about and then the picture changes towards the following screen and what we see are the words The End, End of Story. End of HisStory. You see some Flashes and that's it...
  
And this movie called HisStory does exist. Somebody has made it but is not showing and telling us who, what and where.
It's a COVER UP... GODDamnIT(=ET) Drunvalo Melchizedek, walk-in of the first kind: Where are all the free energy devices you spoke of 10 years ago? And Where did this Alive Osiris in the great pyramid of Cheops in Egypt suddenly go? Hebrew-addict Dr. J.J. - Keys of Enoch Book of Knowledge - Hurtak (=Branch of a Hooker or also From which Branch are you?): Where is this Underground City under Gizeh in Egypt? And where is that friggin' film you made about it more then 10 years ago? And why did you suddenly say that Music is the language of the Future while your book talks about a mixture of 5 earthly languages + Hebrew (=a cooked up HIM) being the clue to it? A.R.E. (Edgar Cacey headquarters Studycentre Virginia Beach + yearlong contracts with Dr. - director hatman - Hawass of the Pyramids in Gizeh): What have you discovered and covered up thrue the 20 years you have been paying millions to get solely admission to all you wanted at the Plateau of Gizeh? Uri - ShowMan - metal-voices-messenger-spoonbender-man - Geller: Why don't you tell the truth about your conjuring + How could you purchase that expensive building in Buda so cheap? What have you been doing in Russia lately? And Where is that Book of Knowledge? Staya Erusa - Dutch magazine and e.motions - 2 movies, 47 to go - makers/initiative revealing all about LIFE+DEATH of Ronald Jan Heijn + Harrie Beckers - also a metal-voice-messenger-man: ,,Are you really that naief? And where is that Book of Knowledge you promote?'' Chapel of Sacred Mirrors in New York: You must know more about origin of men concerning the paintings you make and the workshops you offer. So why do you just want to create an expensive pelgrimage in an even more expensive chapel for people to keep living the same lies allover again and having them pay for it themselves? And David Icke: When are you going to become aware about your own I.D.? The worldwide Pharmaceutical Industry Business and their socalled healing methods for the most disgusting illnesses and diseases - created thrue the withholding of information of our true origin and being - in our troubledtimes Cancer + AIDS: Why do you keep pumping the people full of your articifial poison while it is not necessary at all? And last but not least: ALL representatives of ALL RELIGIONS on earth: What are you gone say now? You're supposed to be the spiritual replacement of GOD on earth, but this socalled god is an alien, so what are you? And how about all that explaining and interpreting of those socalled holy (hole) texts, that made mankind kill eachother for about 6000 years on end for, like they were exterminating flies and bugs?

Language of Light: MAGYAR

Just like Sol Aris, i had read all the books - thegood-thebad-theugly - thousands of them, ciphered out all the websides - official-fantasy-mythic-religious- and more then that i spoke with thousands of people around the globe during my life-passion Profession-Reporter heartwork. But it was not till i got stuck at the Hungarian puszta + met with Cosmic Troubadour Iby Duba (ID) till the quarter started to fall + i was able to look at it with MEGA SEER EYES...

The MAGYAROK (=KORAYMAG=Early SEEDS) LANGUAGE (NYELV=TONGUE+the Y PRINCIPLE) brought me indeed - like Iby carries it around the globe since decennia - into an OKTAVE higher consciousness.
The only trouble (but 'every disadvantage has its advantage', Johan Cruyff) was that it connected us like lightning but that Iby bound herself + her knowledge with this Book of Enoch Hurtak-man. She saw the only truth that this extremely complicated+ really unreadable bible-like book covers: the NAME (=take) of it, The Keys of EN-OCH (=EN-OK meaning: I am in direct connection with THEM, the socalled gods who gm+created us).
It needed a tanya (=farm=t-mother) girl DEMANDING for perhaps LOVE to CRACKtheCODE.

Nothing really happened with me. But i was open to see all+everything, always+everywhere with an OPEN MIND and was willing to work thrue my own personal nightmare HisStory thrue my EMOTIONS (e.motions= a motion that comes thrue the ENERGY=ETHER, so thrue the internet and in nature where i live in a nowhere place isolated from the outsideworld). Sol did his best to trigger all trauma big time for sure. He warned me, though, he can read my mind if i let him.

And i started to study the E-factor=Emotion-VakTor= the Trade of the Bug is Energy Laundering like in Laundering Black Money.

All Emotions are being triggered by SEXUALITY, our utmost E.Tool (=TOO MUCH Energy easily causing short-circuiting) and Making LOVE makes all our FLUIDS (=Emotions) flow unlimited to activate the corecodes - with light filled filaments in the bonemarrow (=GERINCVELO=Sun-Light+merg+o= Luctor et Emergo= I Struggle + Surmount! But also meaning: Let the LightBug go back to the MOTHER).

Sexuality in Loving re-union also is rejuvenating + can create NEW LIFE.

If you don't handle emotions, they stick to the bonesstructure, the skeleton and it will get hard as STONE. The Bones (=CSONT=SJON=A'dam slang for SUN) carry it all in them. No one dares to open up for it, that's why they get Cancer (Horoscope: Sign of the Sun).

SOMEBODY has to educate+ explain (MAGYARAZ=clear up=explain=testify) about the Living Library and the Order of Chance for LOVE that we ALL carry inside our inner Self.

In fact everyone can do this, the informaton IS there but every single individual has to go this Emotional BLOODRED Road + cross the Bridge to 'the other side' alone (=AllOne).
 
And many beings around the world know, write about it, give workshops, weekend-courses, present free-energy inventions or give alternative 'old'/'new' natural treatments.
The Spiritual Scene (SS) i used to start calling them years ago, after i found out how elitaire and moneymaking they all acted in the end from the local new ageshops, the national and international magazines like Spiegelbeeld and Frontier in Holland and/or the international issues, Sex+Money was all what it came to.

And from tv-broadcasters around the globe or all other national or international media, don't talk to me about it. My dearest brothers and sisters JOUR-HOER-NA-LISTEN (journalists= Doing their Whore's work filled with dirty tricks Every DAY) just report on the - embedded+insured for sure - daily deaths+bombs that fall, from a luxurious 5*hotel. Both sides questioned, case closed, next Breaking News from CNN (=See is a NONO) Burning Spot on Earth please... And the Medium is the Message, Marshall McLuhen was right, in the fifties he already knew: TV=TraumaVerwerking=Working thrue all Trauma. In 2008 Dutch journalist Bram Vermeulen was awarded the title best Journalist because of his work in Africa. I knew another Bram Vermeulen - the other half of Neerland's Hoop in Bange Dagen, artist, musician and songwriter - who dedicated the last years of his life reveiling our HisStory to the public in telling the story about the Annunaki and their creation of hu-men.

The socalled gods simply created some slaves and gave them this special privilege, they made a special deal with some of them, the circumcision + called them: The God Chosen People of ISRAEL = IS GOD GOD? Have you ever heard anything more painfully IDIOTIC then this???

It is so simple as that, and would you mind being cut off of your forefathers? Yes i mind, yes i do very much, i certainly want to know my name and i want to know where i am coming from. I am a Meijer and proud to be so. ,,Please to meet you, Hope you 'cash' my name.'' (Free after Mick Jagger, the tongueman who knows how to make money (+publicity) big time by giving away just a minusculy fraction of his wealth).

And in this godforsaken land where everything is fake, where even the socalled holiest places where Jesus the Nazareer (=Nasa or Nose-rider or Behind Nasa) appeared + paid off all debts+guilt of ManKind on the CROSS to - for sure - raise some day to come and set us all free. There is just one thing that can set us free, and that is the REAL TRUTH (=FROM WHOSE YONI DID WE COME ONTO EARTH?) and work it thrue by yourself, all alone, to get connected again with the original feminine principle. Satanized and/or cast out completely by all religions in blaming the female for all sins (and dragging male with them) and mentioning them only as either being whores or virgins. To wipe out as well mankind's utmost power and emotional tool to remember who we are and where we come from: SEXUALITY.

But 'they' - the golddiggers/moneymakers, the bad guys - used the respectable g-men like Jesus the Christ, Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary, Jozef + who? didn't they use?, to construct it all into this big 'side circus' and wrote it down in the Holy Bible (Burn that HOLE Book and all the other Holy books too, they're all WRONG=like a Wr(e)ath or a KNOT, like the 2knotted multi-coloured rope my white dog Captain loves to tear to pieces).

More then once i was told during the TerrorTrip: ,,Hey this Jesus thing, that's great for business, man.'' While when you drive thrue thousands of years old places like Yaffo, Nazareth, Bethlehem, the Armageddo-plains and Megiddo you simply don't believe your eyes of all the dirt, garbage, broken+neglected ruined places, rusted debris, filthy stinking spelonks smelling of piss+poop, with just men+boys sneakin' around, their hands around their fly.

I had taken Jesus off the Cross already years ago by nailing a picture of the Talking Heart number 10 called THE POWER on the cross after a funny dream. Leo (LWH too angry young man) Jansen, Harrie - the Indian - De Kroon (with the biggest library on everything @his pc), 2 of my respected ex-es and me were releasing the poor chap of the cross and i climbed in it to attached THE POWER with a note saying BYE BYE (=Greek for LIVE LIVE, but i found that out much laterz).
I also finally understood that book i read as a child and couldn't figure out this person called Jezus (=Dutch for Jesus) in it. Now i know, and can tell my brothers Martin + Hans: ,,Yeah, take care, It is Je Zus (=Your Sister) Coming!!!''

NOW i was in Jesus' neighbourhood for what appeared only 48 hours + 450 km's driving crisscross thrue this BloodyMary's HellHole, looking for PERHAPS LOVE with this Sol + FOR LOVE'S SAKE NEVER GIVE UP...

Because these last days of December the connection between Sol+Me was building up to a climax. It was certain: He loved me back, the full 100%, i was going there to finally get my 'Y, Y're the ONE i am living for'-man.

He would become my BAAL (=husband=Dutch ECHTGENOOT= the real Gemara-Notation= the real completion (= Come please Zion). The Gemara Notation, written by Ezekiel, is applicable to the Talmud and in particular to the Amoraim (means: my love!) and it is the commentary about the way things are to be done by the chosen people. Written down in the Halalea (meaning: Death to EA or A Fish called EA) and in the Midrash (we are darash=wasps or worker-wasps) to tell people thrue the Haggada (=narration=verhaal= get it from far) what they should do or don't concerning familymatters + the relation between male and female. Ezekiel is famed for his resurrection of the dead (37) and his criticism about this god of the chosen people whose laws they couldn't possibly live by with as most important the law of having to kill their firstborns in certain circumstances. The name Ezekiel can be translated as: This God is OUT! That god was riding in the meantime his chariot (merkaba=light about life+death and also seen as the yin yang sign, the androgyn being and tjsa it could be another riot upon mankind too) using these chayot, ophanim and seraphim into the 7 heavens with the 7 palaces (Hekhabot= a fenced in death) where he is seated surrounded by all these beings praising just him. To have mercy with his people, i say: merci BOEKOE to that... Talk about idols (=idool= i lost) to arrive at Hebrew Enoch (En-Ok=I am in direct connection with Them) the Third who went into heaven and became Metraton (he has gotten the g-tone so became godman) symbolizing Measurements of the Body aka Shi'ur Qomah=She OER Coma, the female principle (Y) is in a coma.

But i was suddenly thrown back to my youth - 13 years of age - (in a separate classroom for 2 hours every week, because we were not allowed by our parentes to follow the religious instructions, she because Jewish and i because my father didn't want me to come in touch with anything religious) scolding my dear lil Jewish friend Miriam for 'JOOD'. I tried to talk it right by saying i just had said IDIOOT (=IDIOT), thought i was so CLEVER ha ha ha but nothing could help me.
I had to go and excuse myself for shouting JOOD at her, her whole family and actually to the whole of mankind and make excuses for what had happened to the Jewish People in WW2. I had to beg first to hear why this word/their name had been so wrong to use as a term of abuse. The only reason i got was that they are the chosen people by god, ohh ok.
I FIRST had to tell Miriam (the only person in my life i felt i ever had a real relation with) that i was going to Israel intending to marry this Jewish guy. She never married the guy she loved, he was a GOY from Assen, but a real JEW instead to pump up the volume of the in WW2 eliminated Jewish population and that had touched my heart so much. To leave your true love behind + do something for your own Jewish people.
It took lots of scrolling sites+emails, but finally i spoke to her mother, the first to hear the big news. ,,But then Marjan you are getting a Jewish man,'' she was flabbergasted + silent for more then a minute. It was so loaded, a non Jew getting a real Jew. Miriam - happy to hear me again after years of wondering where we were - was easier: ,,You always wanted to know what it meant to be a real JEW and you wanted to know about especially Jewish men, NOW YOU'RE GONE FIND OUT YOURSELF FOR SURE.'' We laughed like crazy, both, i was even crying in the end...

From early morning of Monday 29th of December 2008 05.30 till early morning of Wednesday December 31st 2008 05.30 i crisscrossed the state of Israel on a quest of Life and Death searching for just LOVE. And what i found out during those hours go whatever Armaggeddon millions of times above. I landed in a country that is split, not in two but in many pieces and that is so dirty to the bone, it is a shame for the whole universe. Nowhere, not even in the rich quarters i found beauty, nowhere i found even friendship or sympathy. Just money and sex is what it's all about, nothing else on their minds at all.

There is no respect for their neighbour but worse they don't care for their own relatives, they use them as tools if necessary. The whole country lies into pieces, it is one huge LIE. The Real Holy land my ass, my very big ass, i have never seen a dirtier country ever. And yes, many of their roads are full of holes for sure. Nothing is taken care of and nobody even sees it.
Not the tourists who come 'lickebaardend' (licking their chins=Licking their forefatherET's) for what they think has to do with Love + God + Christ and with taking care for each other, loving your neighbour as yourself, count them all up: the 10 Commandments.
Here a historical LIE is kept alive - in places lightened up with neon - that all earth is suffering from. One immense bomb that's gone BLOW very soon and will drag all+everything with it into eternity 4sure or some other bomb had to blow. A LOVE BOMB and that would be me.

There is NO GOD, there even never was a GOD, turn it around and you get DOG = DOGSTAR => SIRIUS. There was a whole troupe of them. Even the DOGON of Africa know and they're still waiting for these men from space to return. I am not afraid to swear anymore, i will swear as a TROOPER if i like as a SUPER TROOPER even. GOD DAMN ME, i'm damned anywayz soooo BIG TIME if the hard/heart book comes out.
So tie a knot in your ear, never forget: There were these 2 space brothers and 1 of them cheated the other just for hotsex+goldenmoney. When there is no love there is no thing. This EARTH (=EA=IA=sound a donkey makes followed by rthhhh=fart so donkeyfart) ruled + inhabited by the GM-Hu-men is DOOMED to say BOOMMMM...

The only heartcards left in the ENDGAME were the:

Talking Hearts number 10 (my own Heart so to say) called The Power; Talking Hearts number 13, my father Gerard's favorite heart called 'Devil's Marble' symbolic for Suffering + Sorrow but also symbol of True Loving Forgiveness for all and everything, always and everywhere with New Clear Beginnings and New Chances for love big time; and then last but not least, the third card. It happend to be Talking Heart number 6 'Red Hot', being a warning of not falling in love like struck by Lightning - connected with my uncle 'Lightning Billy', the plumber + electricien specialized in lightning-conductors - and thrue the Rolling Stones + their Tongueman a connotation with the sexy side of us, to be RED HOT (Lightning Blazes!), everybody knows what you mean when you refer to that song.

At checkin' into the country to get that damn stamp in my Dutch passport i am almost ran over by others - tripartite grey and nice haircut - who hurry into this land. I get the rental car, an American angry red faced customer shouts about being 'fucked' by them bigtime. When i bring the car back after less then 48 hours they charge me 550 euro. The chiefman personally twisted the plastic grid+accuses me of denying an accident. Crooks+thieves, thank you for using Budget Car Rental in Israel.
The first view on Israel earlymorning is obscure, industries, unfinished roadworks and how they raced like madmen, lots of damaged cars, bumbs+dents allover, dirty roadsides on my way to Tel Aviv/Yaffo and i got lost big time. Thrue richpeople place Bat Yam, modern glass/steel apartmentbuildings with also an overall view of untidyness. I follow my feelings and suddenly see the meetingplace: Sint Anthony's Church. Parking at the backdoor; what a mess, papertowels that remind me of the Hooker's 'Gedoogzone' (=Tolerated Zone) in Rotterdam. I am never discouraged, so i walk enthusiastic towards the seaside, always the best place in a harbourtown. Everything is broken around, dirty, scrap iron, iron-eaten gates, and there is this stench and flies allover. What a junk and rubbish + see the Andromeda Rocks we had been communicating about how Andromeda is supposted to be the star constellation that symbolizes 'gentle' understanding of our cosmic beingness. A man walks deep under me, making pics. Is it him?
I write:

Red
White
BLUE
Red
White
GREEN
Yellow
Black
WHITE
Blue
RED
All PEOPLE ALERT
RED    RED      RED

to get down on the sticky pavement again and walk back to look for something nice, like a fleamarket which i find in a thirdworld like situation on a square and find a Hebrew alphabethbook. A nice Ukrainian man bargains and for 3 shekel it's mine. It is so cold. I am wearing no winterclothes, but my wide hempskirt, a white cotton turtleneck of my mother's, an earthcoloured sweater from my dad that oma Mannie knitted, my coat of arms T-shirt (with Mary+Child) of Drenthe, stockings with hearts of YvesSaintLaurent, gypsy striped socks in red-white-blue over it and my white Celestine Prophecy or Essene sandals and the leopard funfur coat. I had expected to lay down naked on the beach and go swimming with dolphins and study the Andromeda Rocks floating in a lil boat or sitting on a terrace somewhere with Sol wearing funny sunglasses enjoying the sunshine.
I walk back to also find this famous street he lives on, the Yehuda el Hamit, more then 3500 and some say even 8000 years a traderoad. It's just a stonesthrow away of the church and where i parked the car. This oldest tradingroute on earth looks like a nightmare too. But i settle down at a terrace of a busy small restaurant and have the best Hummus (chickpeas-sesampaste) i ever tasted + a double coffee (to read: i notice a heart with ovaries, a bird+a big EGG + see a horse with a hat on ha ha Neil Young's Crazy Horse).

All the kids that pass wear expensive trainingsuits, the VIP Generation, most have hoodies to cover their faces for most part, a lil boy targets me with his laser-key-ringlight.
Later during the Terror Tour i find out more about our Hope for the Future. At this 5* hotel in Nazareth, where hotelman Illes, a flirt+cheap-jack (who didn't remember his vacation in Amsterdam because so stoned) tells he was initiated in sex when 14 years old by the girlfriend of his own older brother. He demands tantric sex and thinks i have to offer when i hand him some heartcards.
I tell him the story about kids in Holland doing sexgames around the playgrounds, in garages or cellarstorages. Sometimes just for a breezer or even for 'being a member of the group'. We talk how kids nowadays think about sex. Like all those small 10, 11, 12 and 13 years old, in front of a judge. They didn't even realize. What did they anser to the questions about the sexual acts they had been doing: ,,Ohh it was just a Blow Job.''
I tell him the story i heard from the little birdman Jan Evert Musch (=Sparrow), who explained one beautiful sunny day that the Drenthse dolmens aka HUNBEDS used to be Initiation Chambers for 14 year old boys and girls, of course separately, to tell them and educate them about physical Love, the healthy and natural way. That's how it was in the old times, in the old landscape. The historians (make it Hysterians) keep saying these stonepiles are TOMBS, like 'they' also say about the Pyramids in Egypt.
 
Nowadays our kids are no longer related to anything, not to sexuality, not to friends, not to being a family. Many wear black clothes and most of them are hooded, like they don't even wanne show their FACES anymore. I think they feel something...
Must be, because Everything is Connected and i am another y/jew.

The clock is tickin' and have to go meet Sol at the backdoor of the Saint Anthony's now. I arrive at the backentrance of the church and am on a school playground. The opposite wall contains a huge painting of a heart with dancing kids (United Nations for Kids) around. I am too early so decide to do my 1st Tibetan and swirl clockwise 21 times around, handpalms down, eyes closed and hear the crows coming. Dozens of black shrieking crows, terrible and frightning, dive down on me. Three o'clock has gone too, no Sol, i sit on the broken betonstairs and suddenly this beautiful lil blackgreen bird with a long bend beak sings, high trills, that is beautiful, reminds me of the Celestine Prophecy (the movie i saw at least 60 times). Shortly after that i am chased away by the angrylooking handyman of the school - Hey, is that Sol after all? - ,,No one is gone be here,'' he snarls at me with a dark look.

I send Sol an sms: 'Be realistic i am at your door'. I feel empty, but never give up on my love and walk back to the shattered parkinglot with the ruin and see this huge tree. No, it is two trees grown together in the form of an Y. And suddenly there is this lil birdy again singing this beautiful song. Ahh, search the ruins, shiffering i am willing to go in and on the threshold of this smelly dark rotten temple i find this page with a picture of a singing bird on. What once was an architectorial beauty is derelict place now. I look for him everywhere and step out again to see the backdoor has Gizeh written on it. Aha, after i climb the wet garbage i find proof: a rusty pruning-saw and a piece of wood (like 2 unfinished woodenshoes or a buoy).
I notice also that suddenly the whole area is crowded with policecars, even the policetruck+horsetrailer+2 horses - that greeted me when they passed the terrace i was enjoying the hummus - were there. I have to get away without them seeing me.
I sneak thrue a hole in the wall, letting myself drop more than a meter to reach the path thrue the park at the back of the church. There's a clustering of policecars, armed hangin' around. I push the wood under my coat as if i am pregnant, pressing out my sigi with my bare hands fast, pregnant women don't smoke. I laugh and know: I have to leave asap for the places he has mentioned in his last message: Arsuf/Apollonia, Gaash Beach, Caesaria, Dor, Atlit, Stella Maris to eventuelly reach Armaggedon + Fireworks.
 
Back in the car, driving towards highway2 to find exits to the mentioned places, can't find it. Hundreds of times turning, where the hell am i, till i see a sign with VOL to follow and arrive at the 3. It's getting dark. I am up for many hours, don't eat but drink water. So amazing: the Eden water is springwater sold by a Meijeden family, that sounds familiair. I am not able to bend off to any of the places he mentioned and end up in Nazareth. While driving, i crack part of the code, the pruning-knife, cutting of a piece of what? I see the Hungarian Pick-salami on the backseat and suddenly it shines to me: circumcision obligatory for all Jewishboys on the 8th day after their birth. This has big time to do with origin of men by these socalled gods and choosing a favorite group of slaves to be the chosen people of God. I cruise without even noticing into Nazareth Illit (=Elite) and see a shoppingcentre, Hair (Musical that ignited awareness during FlowerPower time). That's where i need to be, seeing a big billboard of ORANGE the telephone company. That's where he can find me, i'll send an sms about the 'circumcision-code' and where i am situated so he can pick me up. He will not come. I start to look for a hotel. Hours i just drive, crossing by + stopping at all the famous holy places + being so sad+broken about what i see. Even the people are not friendly when i ask them the way for the thousandth time.

I am in a parkinglot of a petrolstation standing behind a big container for garbage. I have the radio on, in his last profile text Sol mentioned listening to this station with a strange name, lots of letters (all my life i had dreams with letters not forming names or whatever). I get messages thrue the music of Radio Ischariot (=Ischa Meijer, late Dutch Jewish writer who always knew to get to the core of the people he spoke with + riot and also connected to Judas Ischariot, that says enough by itself): Hope for nothing; It's nobody's love; He's a smooth operator. But i know i have to go for Love all the way allthough i have to Ride the storm and have to take care because this place is a 'bomb-that's-gone-blow' anytime now... 05.15 2 policecars; There is no trust in this country and why not?; 05.17 1 policecar; Because they can't be trusted themselves. Like the host is so he trusts his guests!!! 05.25 2 policecars; It is a matter of love+trust between brothers. The worst crime/sin of all. 't Is toch sonde mie jong (Drenths=It's a pity my son/brother/friend); 05.33 5 policecars; 05.34 again 4 big policetrucks (like Swat-teams); 05.35 2 policecars. A total MANKIND for 1 SIN. I don't judge. It's just a pity for Y + I. Go as fast as possible out of this country: GA EL (=GO AWAY); 3.52 The policecars are driving of and on now, all with bright flashing blue-red lights+some of them turning my side, watching, shit. I have to go driving again. I have to get at a computer. I have to find an airport. Sol has his own plane and i have nothing.

Ok, Megiddo (=Meg IDO=There is still Time - Iby's translation of the name; ohh what a relief). It must be nearby. The attacks coming in like flies unto a pile of shit. In my last hours i heard+saw+was seen by at least a 100 policecars + even ended up lost in 2 PoliceHeadquartes (luckily they used to be 'my friends' when i was small). The police was looking for something in the dark dark nite, have to hurry, this place is gone blow. Making the car tidy, throwing out the garbage and go with this banan and it was so difficult to find that airport. ,,That is not an airport anymore,'' the gasstation clerk said unfriendly, as he added: ,,And what are you looking for there anyway?''
But i find this also broken down dirty place. Around six in the morning i arrive in this thick milky white fog, like i am going thrue the Milky Way not covered with stars but with rubbish and suddenly i hear this lil singin' bird again. I am so relieved.  And then my mobil phone sounds this tinglytangly song and the cloudybluesky textscreen shows Jawwal sends a message: ,,Marhaba, smell the jasmine and taste the olives. JAWWAL welcomes you to Palestine. For Customer Service Please dial 111(chargeable).''  Wooh, that is finally some sign of support, i am at the airport + Sol will come and get me in his yellow/black plane before this place is gone go up in flames. I follow cars that disappear into the thick fog + am being followed by a big truck, Meijeden again, the waterfamily goes to this place that was built in defence against the Nazi's coming from Africa in WW2. Now it's just in use as a airstrip for small planes and it has a Flying Instruction School.

I step out of the car and under my foot is this plastic child's toy, a red plastic heart, hm and walk into the shaft. Gabriel welcomes me with ,,No way madam that any planes can fly today with this fog.''  Wait till the sun comes thrue, i think. I am allowed to use the kitchenette, make tea with the venkelseeds i grabbed from the kitchentable at HeartsHotel in an impulse and that gives me a good boost.
We speak about the situation. The older pilot Andre watching an old tv (all have eggshaped heads) is pointing towards Ashdod and the probable bombs. Gabriel says: ,,I wished it was thrue, then finally everyone would feel how bad it is, Gaza is too far away. I know for 7/8 years that it's never gone be anything between the Israeli and the Palestinians.'' He is delighted when i offer him a heartcard and say he is welcome to flee to Hungary@HH and almost cries. I give him my whole pile, have to get rid of the weight anyway.
I also prepair a big dish - also to lighten up my bag (i took it to have Sol taste some good foods) - of Dutch cheese with clove (from Drenthe), some organic goatcheese + i cut up half of the Picksalami in slices and brake the only knife available in the kitchen.

God loves Idiots
From Out of the Blue, he stood there, this attractive man, flightjacket, pilot's sunglasses, charming as hell. With a loud blow he throws this box on the table, on the back two pictures, olives. For a split second i hesitate, but i know this is not Sol. His name is Isaak aka the Captain Dr. Rubenstein and i know i am going to ask him and nobody else the Key questions. About the war and mess he says: ,,Dear Lady, it is just human.'' I want to ask about his namesake from the bible. Isaak, the - by God - predicted son born to Abraham (who was 100 years of age at the time, but the 'producer always is alive') and his wife Sarah, who had passed the age of being able to have children long before. After the prediction Sarah was afraid she would be laughed about, but when the lil boy was born they named him Isaak (=May God Laugh). When the boy was a few years old his father was willing to offer him to God, to bear the punishment for the Israeli people who didn't behave according to the god-made laws. It is said Sarah didn't survive this idea and she became the first to be burried in the famous Cave of the Patriarchs in Hebron. Funny a Matriarch being the first in a cave where just our male ForeFathers are being honoured and praised up until today. What was so special about this all?
And then the trumpets sounds!!! His mobile ringtone. They will trumpetter 4 more times and it's like i'm in the middle of a biblical Armageddon. Captain Rubenstein laughs loud in his trumpetter-phone and calls out to the person at the other end and to me: ,,IDIOT ha ha ha, yeah you know, God loves IDIOTS, THAT'S WHY HE MADE SO MANY OF THEM,'' ending the conversation to continue to me in one breath: ,,Isaak, Abraham's and Sarah's child was the first one to get this Sign to Recognize (=Circumcision) awarded to them by God himself and their proof of being God's Chosen People. To be executed after the child's seventh day, so on the EIGHTH day.'' Ohh. Interesting, so the Annunaki socalled God gave them this special sign, like the Annunaki themselves, no foreskin.

Isaak tells me he is not a pilot alone but actually architect of profession and his hobby is making furniture. Comfortable wooden furniture and i admired them amazed because they ressemble almost exactly the handmade wooden furniture i have at HeartsHotel. He produced this exclusive awkward one too, like a cross with a sick coming thrue and i had owned one similar to it, bought at the Salvation Army of Fort McMurray in Canada and judged to be a sex-chair by all who saw it.
,,That is a chair i created and built for a gynaecologist friend,'' Rubenstein explained, adding: ,,He requested a suitable chair for his patients, but i thought: i can make it, but i want it to be a chair, good and healthy for every man and/or woman and this is the result.''  To stay on the gynaecological way, Rubenstein looked very much alike my old friend/gynaecologist the late Cees ten Hope, who told me it would be absolutely impossible to ever have children. My ovaries were not producing eggs anymore, more than half of them cut out anywayz and what was left was death as hell. In response i told him then: ,,I am going to give birth one day for sure.'' Everything is Possible. I am a galactic being and i can heal myself.

In the meantime i had puzzled out the message of Jawwal and it was shocking: i had to go asap to Zierikzee, Zeeland, Nederland. Sol knew 'i knew it all' . The clue was Marhaba, the name he used for me. It flashed me back about thirty years ago with my late friend Bertus Notenboom visiting a man in a small antique+curiosa shop called Koedood, who insisted on taking us to the harbour to see this ship and some guys on it. I know now that his name was not Koedood, but Koevoets, but that was the name in my mind and Sol reads my mind the way it is. The plan was easy: i would go to Haifa airport, bring in the car + book the first flight to the Netherlands and asked Rubenstein to help me while i presented him 'for good love' the last freight i had been carrying and needed to dump: a big bottle of orange-liquor Cointreau and a bottle of parfum for him and her, Gardens of the Nile from Hermes. He had a message to run but would be back soon and help me around in the big city.
I could relax now a bit, went to the toilet outside at the back of the shaft near an old hangar. When suddenly the door was ripped open and Gabriel stood there. Dabbing my face with a paper towel, i was decent and ready to step out to let him in. And then it happened, he moved his hands to his fly and asked me with the unmistakable frequency of a hornyman: ,,So you really think i am good people?''.
Shit, what to do about that pile of heartcards. I didn't want him to have them, he could have a few to help heal himself, but something had to happen about the lot.  Then these  2 wonderfull 22-year old guys, workers at the airstrip, walked in. We had this lovely conversation - we're on FaceBook too - and again i came to learn that the Israeli people in general + their youth in particular have completely given up every hope for or believe in any solution. But they would love to spread around the word of love with my heartcards. I gave them all but three. Gabriel came back in and plainly told me Captain Rubenstein was not to be expected back and advised me to leave before dark. Bye Shalom Bye, everyone, on my way to Haifa, the airport and the Netherlands.

Leaving for SEA(SEE)-land
Another hours long search starts, allover again, deja vu. After a dangerous ride thrue deathly areas of industry and the container-harbour, driving up and down Stella Maris (no boats, just cheap restaurants), i land up in Police Headquarters again. They tell me the big boat with the M on the chimney has long gone and this 'love crazed woman' is after their instructions on her way to nowhere again. To finally get stuck at the end of a dead-end-street at a beach, big grains of sand, this evergoing sound of the sea and a lovely white strawdog barking at me, hurry, hurry, the Captain is waitin'. On top of a mountain i see a round modern house, a flash of light shines twice: get moving and find this airport asap. I get lost again and have a fatty guy accompany me for 100 shekel - driving his car in front of mine - to finally arrive at the hermetically closed off and heavily armed protected Airport of Haifa. No flights outside the country, never, just a national airport. Ok, no more checking of nothing: i am leaving for highway 3 now, Tel Aviv, Ben Gurion Airport, to catch the first possible flight to Holland.

I arrive, am being 'fugged' by the Budget-people bigtime, but great, there is a KLMflight (Royal Dutch Airlines). But: no seats unless i buy a Business Class ticket. I do everything for love and have this winning ticket in my pocket. I think i will be treated as a real royal ha ha and puchase it. It had been difficult to arrange, so i gave the lady at the ticketoffice a heartcard. Like i gave them all during this TT-race in hell. 'Thanks for helping me out' or 'Just for Love and Peace, Shalom'. I am sure i saw a flash of light in their eyes, a heart, love, All we need is Love... But the security-girls don't want them + didn't believe i had come for Love. An officier had to come+check me out. He saw me, oh yeah, i can be such a SexBomb, so that was fixed. The bitchy girls just said: ,,We are not allowed to accept anything from passagers.'' Not allowed to take a postcard with a heart on it? My ass... but it sketches the situation in this highly secured and hyper protected country. While their whole land is filled with dirt, garbage, broken houses and nothing really is organized and in Gaza the bombs are falling, people dying, they check on every simple soul that just came to the 'holiest spot' on earth for LOVE only. I was pulled and pushed around, nothing royal about it, like they did very unfriendly with all passengers, like we were cattle, Bonanza: hitt'em up and move'em out. They'll search your ass if they could think of a way to do so...

Now they just examined my laptop, it was gone for more than an hour and my one stiffly packed bag (it's all in the pakliba= It's all in the game) and didn't see what i was carrying in this international atmosphere in the midst of all the other lonely people. I suddenly noticed i was holding the letter TAV in front of my belly, the backside of the book with all the letters of the Hebrew alphabeth. But when i enter the departurehall i hear from the small musiccorner a great new song: 'Well Done, Girl'' and i shine.

A Room that never was a Room

I am in a room that never was a room before. In room number 3 in The Tide in Zierikzee (=Seer i said so), in Seeland right after HELL'sFootSluice and the HELL'sHoleSquare, surrounded by Bambi deer, a silvergray Bear, protected from the low joists by a light safety CAP number 57/7 and a picture of a lake with 3 ducks, a cosy home and a fire in front, huge fur trees and a binoculars in the windowscreen. High on the rush matt walls, at least seven meter, there are 2 lights in the shape of shells but they look exactly like the faces of two ALIEN BEINGS. At the other side of the room a deer's skull and an autumnleave light. In the bathroom there is this pattern on the bath of a diamond + the Flower of Life, it's a TULIP (symbol for the circumsized penus and the national flower of Holland) and 22 tiny tiles with fivepointed seastars and the fossilshells Nautilus Pompilius showing the 'gouden snede' (=Golden Mean=CUT=KUT=BRON=WELL=KUT= FEMALE SEXUAL ORGAN the YONI and also meaning INCISION,  circumcision= SIR COME SEE ZION).

Outside on the opposite brickwalls 2 signs of the Tree of Life YY and a small man's face statue, have silently whispered my name, gave me strength and THE POWER of myself doubled in a building called the 'WildMan'.

Perhaps Sol was waiting in his ship for me in Zierikzee (knickname of the inhabitants: sideway-shitters). I searched the docks, the pitoresque harbour. Everyone was on skates and i walked on sandals on the snowy boardwalks. To come across this statue of a Mother holding her child protective behind her back: 'Ordealed but not Broken' it says, a memorial for the Big Flood in 1953, two weeks after i was born.
That's how i feel for sure. I will never give up on LOVE. Keep searching and looking for him, always double check and check again everything. Every single man i met during the Tour for perhaps Love, i thought it could be him, all ages, ugly, handsome, tall, short, dark, bold, handicapped, in a wheelchair, with kids, with a dog, with a cat, they all could be Sol. And i checked it out, double checked it, always organizing my stuff+mind, space-pen+notebook, heartcards, sigis+lighter and moneybag+the 2 tickets of the Dutch Staatsloterij in a seperate moneybag.
 
I see the old year out with the by Sol promised Fireworks. It is Oud en Nieuw in Nederland and that means all hell brakes loose worth 55 million euro in hellish noise. I am happy, i am writing in this fine room. My lottery tickets win 2x a ten euro price. I need to go back to zero, HeartsHotelHungary and decide to do everything right and first bring a visit to the grave of my old friend Bertus, who brought me to Zierikzee so long ago so clear, in Noordwelle and who taught me to carry my money=love=as i find out now also Hungarian gypsy slang for money ha ha ha, in these linnen bags of the Dutch National Statebank. And i want to bring a small Love-present to my old friend the Flyer/Kiteman Mundito Engelhardt and his wife Lenie.
 
Before leaving town i walk and draw the big ages old city gate with the Y Y symbols on the old brickwalls and i am being invited in by the musicians that i hear jam in the icecold tower. ,,Music is the language of Love and the Future,''  Willem van Manen, Ger Lagerweij en Pierre van Zwiet point to their mate Rink, who smiles and takes a toke of the joint and continues: ,,But Y need the real fingerspitzengefuhl for it though.'' I climb the spiral stairs + open the door that has a sign saying: Not Allowed This is my Home and enter this amazing different dimension of sounds and vibrations. They play, these improvised melodies, soft+soothing and then hard+cutting, bells sound+the organ sings, a guitar howls, the piano overtones, these are Hawkwind-like realms and i dance, i dance the 1st Tibetan and whirl and whirl and turn aroud and around and around.

,,Plain Decay
Honesty
HOME
Great Despair
It's in the AIR AHHH
I am a ROCK
I am the SEA.''

I hear and i think: Yeah and EYE can SEE...

I leave them gratefully with the music and wait by the side of the provincial road to hitchhike my way to my friend's grave in Noordwelle. It is freezing cold. Everybody is skating, on the canals, the ditches and some small lakes. Oh how fun they have, it's such a beautiful sight too. I love skating. But they all leave me there, no one takes me, all those neatly dressed and coiffured Dutch + German folks in their shiny 4Wheels or other comfortable cars let me stand there almost frozen stiff for more than an hour. And everyone in Holland is wearing black. Then sudddenly this Volvo stops ha ha, Vol again. A tall older boyish man with tousled hair opens the door. Warm and cosy in his messy car, he wears a red workingoveralls with a carpenters jacket over it. Born and raised and happily married (yes still together) in Rotterdam and now enjoying retirement in Sealand. He brings me wherever i want to go and when i tell him about my Tour D'Amour he sings this song:

Where are you coming from?
From the pampas?
From the puszta?
From the meridian?
Put your little hat aside!
Make a lil dance with me!
In the Day of Joy
Jan Pierewiet is here!

He appears to be a retired lawyer, used to be the boss of more then 200 other lawyers, biggest firm in the country+Rotterdam. He never got caught in the dangers of the profession. ,,It's a contaminating job,'' he laughs, ,,But i always better liked it to be at home with the wife then to stir with my hands in the shit of others.''  He drops me right in front of the Noordwelle graveyard gate. I have to squease along it because locked. I find the simple grave made of pavement-stone and press two lil fossils of the lucky kecskekorrom (=goat's nails) in the standing stone, they symbolize money and long ago were used as it. I had hoped Bertus would have left me some of his wealth, ever, long ago. But it is good this way. Over and out.

I have to come thrue Hell'sFootSluice to Schiphol and how, for the moment no cash because no ATM in these small villages? So i just walk to the lil cluster of houses around the church on a terp and i see majestic workhorses and people. It can't be truth, but it is, this is the man my friend Bertus rented his house from, Martien and he has mighty horses and is readying a cart to go riding with a man who drove all the way from Amsterdam with his 3 kids to come and ride with the draught-horses. He explains about the haam and the gareel (rope and harness) and the blinkers. How wonder, he invites me to ride with them into the next town, children + i well tucked in under warm blankets. Everywhere the people take pictures. Martien enthusiast + proud in a humble way: ,,Oh we're very famous, always photographed. There must be worldwide thousands of pics of us,''  while he tells me to jump off now or i will fall off. Ha ha, he throws me a Cap after they're already driving again, NOORDWELLE is written on it. Now i am proud, I am from the NorthernWavelength for sure + will wear it.

It is really cold and allthough i didn't hit the jackpot all the brakes go loose, i am going to take a taxi to Hell'sFoot'sSluice. The driver is not from Sealand but from Voorne-Putten, an agricultural area where ,,they grow the best potatoes from Holland,'' i tell the surprised guy. He didn't know. Zeeland is famous for its onions. In spring+summer always the scent of onions mixes with the fresh seabreese. I have myself delivered to the Greek restaurant Parthenon in the Vesting (=Fortress). I have no idea where the family Engelhardt is, heard they were in homes for the elderly. I order kalamata olives and melizanosalata, delicious with fresh bread. And ask if i can leave a small packet for some loved ones i can't find rightaway. The head-waiter refuses. ,,The boss is not in. ''
The present is a shawl printed with the map of Rotterdam, numbered edition and tied into it: a chocolate letter M and a small kite of a lil red bird. The shawl is for Lenie and the letter+birdykite for Mundito of course. My friends of the heart  of the World Peace Kiting Day every 2nd Sunday in October, under the Motto: ONE SKY ONE WORLD.
Also the pretty bartender lady doesn't dare to keep it behind the bar and all the waiters walk by: ,,It could be a bomb,'' they snuckle. So i walk out, upset and worried too. She really wanted to call me the taxi to Schiphol, because receives for every call a coin, to get 50 euro when the special quiver is filled up. I am outside, stuffing the 'Love-Bomb' on top of a lightened announcementboard next to an old pump on the wall when the T(axi) V(oorne) drives in front. Anton van Noort gets the hint and brings at least 5 coins to the happy barkeeper.
Anton has a tearjerking story to tell about betrayal by friends+colleagues but he happily has a great family. They all live together in a small house. Recently started their own business, detashare.com for bringing workers and workgivers together in a normal way. He delivers me safe at Schiphol  Airport where i walk in thrue a cloud of hasjish and marihuana, all those tourists smoking their last bit of soft drugs... I need to buy a returnticket at KLM, is cheaper also btw and never mind. I will go back the 17th to celebrate my 56th birthday coming 18th of January with my brothers and their families + my best friends, in Schiedam (aka Black Nazareth because of the Genever industry) at the Stadhuis (TownHall=Weddingplace), now also a Restaurant.

In stead of being in Israel together with Sol Aris as was planned for weeks to finally get my own Baal (=husband=echtgenoot). Do you know what the meaning of the word 'baal' is in Dutch + why didn't i think of that earlier? Ha ha ha, it is: Really feeling shitty about something or somebody and not wanting to do anything anymore, taking a Baal-Day... 
 
I have travelled a lot, spent thousands of euros and was 7 days nonstop on the road, didn't comb my hair or wash myself, didn't eat a lot either but did drank lots of fine Eden and Sealand-water and i admit: i was amused too, i laughed a lot because of all the funny coincidences and synchronicities and the actual simplicity of it all coming together. I dedicated my life to Spreading LOVE around and had asked years ago 'to be in my contract' and with this EYE RE-PORT i have contributed the best way possible. ,,And everybody loves you and they all know your name,'' is singing thrue my head all the time.

The Sun has Risen
He Hallo Baby
What's cookin'?
UIJA (onions) my love
Oh how i love that smell

I ask for nothing if you are here

I don't need to go anywhere if you are here

Mankind will leave the NESS (the depths of not knowing and forgotten past) and make a Huge Step Forward becoming CONSCIOUSALL BEINGs in which all+everything is CONNECTED and directly RELATED to one another:
I AM ANOTHER Y

BEWUSTHEID = ConsciousDAD translated Meijerway.
The English translation of this 'new' word CONSCIOUSALL (CON, SEE US ALL) speaks for itself.

A CONSCIOUS BEING that =
ALL+EVERYTHING, ALWAYS+EVERYWHERE.

And it doesn't matter anywayz... because we love eachother!

We fix it with (Kunst+Vlieg-werk) ART + KITE (=OUT ET)-work.

With thanks to All+Everything i ever met 'live' or 'online' in general + especially the yahoogroups Dreams-and-Visions, ZetaAstro, New World Disorder, Lightnet, Kundalini-Awakening-systems (the 5 Tibetans), SpiritualPrep, Alienshift and in particular the books of Zacharia Sitchin, Earthchronicles + The 12th Planet + The lost book of Enki; George Ivanovitch Gurdjieff; Louise L. - You can Heal your Life - Hay; Sexual Force of the Winged Dragon + Love+Sexuality part I+II and The Powers of Thought by Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov; The Celestine Prophecy etc. by James Redfield; Open Studio Filmproductions 'Zakkendragershuisje', Schiedam (aka Black Nazareth); cosmic troubadour P4PP (People for Planetary Progress) Iby Duba and the complete team of the Hungarian/Planetary Language Laboratorium, ALL the MUSIC and last but not least of course Sol Aris.

Once upon a time... In the early morning hours of the first of April 2009, April Fool's Day and it's not a joke, Sol Aris aka Shaul Volkov from Israel and mcmlove aka Marjan Clarie Meijer from HeartsHotelHungary finally met in person. It was no joke for sure and no fairytale either. Furthermore they discovered that nothing had been accidental and that everything that happened to them the previous half a year was connected. But it was all 'the other way around' and everything had been very different for what it appeared to be. Still figuring out up until this day what has really happened. We're working on it...